KnitWerk

Some things are hard to avoid when you’re your own boss, and during certain times of the year we’ll put in absurd hours to design and create things that would have taken much longer under normal circumstances. In these times of 14-hour days and 7-day work weeks, knitting takes on a special role: that of stress reliever.

Important factors to remember in the stress relief scenario

1. Knitting doesn’t begin until 9 or 10 p.m.—sometimes 11.
2. I am not my best, most alert Thinking-Knitter Self. My allotment of brain energy has already been used for the day.
3. I will come to knitting after spending ungodly hours at a computer, and though I’m relatively young, my hands, eyes and brain will feel the consequences (especially after three straight weeks of this schedule).

I’m searching for the perfect stress knitting projects. I share with you my discoveries during these last few weeks:

• Anything that might need a life line is RIGHT.OUT. I am not my best self at this time, and will make bad judgments, as in, “Oh, I don’t need that sissy lifeline stuff—by paying attention, I’ll knit the pattern carefully, never forgetting yarn overs or accidentally substituting k2tog for ssk.” I am wrong, possibly delusional, and will most certainly need to frog a difficult-to-rip pattern.


• Anything on tiny needles is probably a not the best thing. I need progress, baby, and I need it NOW. The joy of accomplishment is an important factor in stress knitting.


• Trying a new technique? A collossally bad idea. I need the comfortable—the tried-and-true. In a normal day I may be energized by practicing new things, but in these challenging times, my goal is knitting that is the equivalent of comfort food. Mashed potato knitting, in other words.


• Subtitled movies, though they may represent some of my favorites, are not enjoyed to their maximum during stress knitting. During the best of times, I can knit without looking, but I get lazy during stress knitting, and my pore lil’ brain just can’t handle both.


• Dark yarn = probably another bad idea.


• Knitting from stash yarn will make me feel both virtuous and productive.

It turns out that knitting ponchos for my many nieces (out of ancient stash yarn!) is a nice, happy thing to do. I managed to bang out a couple of ‘em without thinking. Yay! Happy nieces no longer have to covet my sister’s Harlot poncho! There are still 2 more to go, but it’s still snowing where they live, so I’ve got a bit o’ time left. Pictures to come as soon as I block them. Blocking is not part of the Stress Knitting agenda. Lovely results, but the process isn’t fun enough.

Sure, the Sockapalooza sock deadline is looming, but the other deadlines have all been meant. Stress Knitting Time has drawn to a close.